Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Grown ups?

I want to be a piano technician, a professional violinist, a teacher, a school bus driver, a dancer(not the stripping kind), a photographer, a starving artist, a welder, a painter, a bassist, a bartender, a repo person, a bulldozer driver, a paramedic, a firefighter, an adventurer, a museam curator, a sewing wonder, a model, a designer, a printer, a pawn shop operator, a director, a crayon factory worker, a chef, a baker, an auto mechanic, a race car driver, a carpenter, a marina owner, a book store owner, and an antique dealer.
None of these in any particular order, but everytime I turn around there is something else in my head that I want to do.  It is a wonder I have made it this far in life, something tells me that with all of this I am meant to wander through life bouncing around like a pingpong ball.  There is so much I want to do, with little time to do any of it. It is not always time that binds me, money tends to be a factor in this quest as well, but if I could just narrow down things a bit I might actually find that one thing I am good at and make some cash doing it.
A person spends most of their young life being asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" In all of those years there are plenty of ideas, thoughts, direction changes, and quests to find one's self.  Everyday I have a new thought about what I want to do with my life and I am only getting older.  It's not like I am 18 with a clear future ahead of me...I am 27 with a foggy future and a past as well. I have emotional baggage and fears. I have 2 beautiful girls to provide for. I have a ton of ambition and no goals. I also have a monkey wearing hotpants changing the channel in my brain every 3 seconds. 
When will I actually grow up and do something with myself? If I grow up does that mean that all of the fun is gone? I am what I like to call half grown now, no I don't have any grande plans or dinner parties, but I work and pay bills and do a lot of responsible things. For all of that grown up stuff there is another part of me that just wants to goof off and have fun, be spontanious, and learn something new. 
I think my next plan is to learn to weld, I really want to weld.  I want to learn to blow glass too, but we shall see what is more expensive welding or glass blowing.

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